8 steps to feel better about yourself when staying positive is a struggle
It’s hard to know how to feel better about yourself in the moment, especially when you’re struggling to stay positive and not get sucked into the vortex of negativity.
We’re not talking about sometime in the future and not when you finally achieve some “milestone” — you need to feel good about yourself right now.
The fear that your negative feelings won’t ever go away, or won’t go away so easily, is simply a false worry. Happiness, joy, and peace can seem so ephemeral, while sadness, heartache, and loneliness can feel everlasting.
The truth is, you do have control over how you feel, and you can transform your negative feelings quickly and easily.
If you’re struggling with feeling better about yourself, then follow these steps right now!
Here are 8 steps you can take to feel better about yourself now, in the moment.
1. Brighten someone else’s day.
Have you heard the best way to feel better when you’re down is to do something nice for someone else? If you want more love in your life, find ways to spread love to others.
Who do you know that needs some love right now? Who can you reach out to with a text or a phone call?
Maybe you can leave a basket on your porch for delivery workers with some treats to brighten their day? Or maybe write a letter or send a card to someone you care about to let them know you’re thinking about them?
Want to know how to feel good about yourself right now? Reaching out to others in need will give you an instant lift. Putting your focus on helping someone will take the energy away from your problems and put you into a service mindset.
Everyone is here to be of service in some way. Some are being of service in tangible ways, but service can be as simple as reaching out to someone in need or doing something nice for someone who isn’t expecting it.
2. Create a connection with those you love.
Whether you’re living by yourself or with others, are you taking time to really connect with those you love?
Part of feeling down is a feeling of disconnection from others. Humans are social creatures who need to feel like they belong.
Taking time to connect with those close to you, or with those who you’ve not spoken to in a while, will bring you that sense of belonging that you desire. Feeling disconnected from those you are close to can be one of the most painful and isolating feelings.
Here is a connection practice you can do before going to sleep every night:
Before going to bed, connect with each of your loved ones by placing a hand on one another’s heart and take a turn to ask, “Do you need anything from me?”
This is an opportunity to wipe the slate clean from the day. This gives you a moment to express what your needs are.
If you’re on your own and you don’t have other people to connect with before bed, you can do this practice to connect with yourself and ask your inner child what she needs.
This experience can be quite profound. The habit of regularly connecting with yourself and your inner child will bring you many gifts.
3. Focus on what you’re grateful for.
Every study on happiness points to gratitude as one of the biggest keys to living a happy life. Put your focus on what is going well, and then you will feel more resourceful taking action in what needs improvement.
Each night before bed, list five things you’re grateful for. If you have children, this can become a fun nighttime ritual before bed.
Throughout your day, take time to share your gratitude with others for their smile, their kindness, or their efforts.
Gratitude is a practice of appreciation. Take time to find appreciation for the people in your life.
Can you list all of the qualities that you appreciate in those close to you? Have you ever shared your appreciation with them?
Taking time to share your appreciation and gratitude with those you care about will deepen your relationship with them. It will also spread love and happiness.
How would your relationship with your mother, your partner, your ex, your child, or your friends change if you shared something you appreciated about them each day for seven days straight?
Want to really know how to feel good about yourself right now? Practice gratitude and share your gratitude with the people in your life. Spread love and happiness, and feel your own happiness grow.
4. Celebrate your successes.
Do you end each day thinking about all the things you haven’t done, saying to yourself, “I didn’t…” “I should’ve…” or “I could’ve…?”
Your inner dialogue about yourself is the determining factor in how you feel about yourself and your life. When you put your focus on your failures, you have no fuel to make changes in your life. It drains you of energy and motivation.
Plus, speaking negatively to yourself just before going to sleep allows those negative thoughts to seep into your subconscious. It’s no wonder you often feel like a failure.
Instead, fill your tank at the end of the day by focusing on what you got done. These successes need not be lifetime accomplishments.
Successes are relative to that day. If you have a head cold, making toast and tea for yourself is a success. Getting your laundry done is always a success you can recognize.